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Terry Pratchett

Quote from Terry Pratchett, Going Postal

Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.

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Terry Pratchett Witch

Quote from Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

God does not play games with His loyal servants”, said the Metatron, but in a worried tone of voice.”Whoopee”, said Crowley.

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Terry Pratchett

Quote from Terry Pratchett, Mort

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,” he said. “Have you thought of going into teaching?

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Terry Pratchett

Quote from Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies

In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of thecat, although in this case there were three determinate states the catcould be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious.

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Terry Pratchett

Quote from Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

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Terry Pratchett

Quote from Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything.

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Terry Pratchett

Quote from Terry Pratchett, Night Watch

An Assassin, a real Assassin, had to look like one – black clothes, hood, boots, and all. If they could wear any clothes, any disguise, then what could anyone do but spend all day in a small room with a loaded crossbow pointed at the door?

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Terry Pratchett

Quote from Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites

The entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

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Terry Pratchett

Quote from Terry Pratchett, Nation

This was not the time to say “I don’t know.” The brothers had begging, hungry looks, like dogs waiting to be fed. They wanted an answer. It would be nice if it was the right answer, but if it couldn’t be, then any answer would do, because then we would stop being worried…and then his mind caught alight.That’s what the gods are! An answer that will do! Because there’s food to be caught and babies to be born and life to be lived and so there is no time for big, complicated, and worrying answers! Please give us a simple answer, so that we don’t have to think, because if we think, we might find answers that don’t fit the way we want the world to be.

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Small Gods Terry Pratchett

Quote from Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.

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