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Erma Bombeck Life

Erma Bombeck | life

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.

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Erma Bombeck Life

Erma Bombeck | life

I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.

Categories
Erma Bombeck Life

Erma Bombeck | life

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.

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Erma Bombeck humor

Erma Bombeck | humor

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.

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Erma Bombeck humor

Erma Bombeck | humor

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

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Erma Bombeck hope

Erma Bombeck | hope

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.

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Erma Bombeck Home

Erma Bombeck | home

Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I’m taking with me when I go.

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Erma Bombeck Home

Erma Bombeck | home

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.

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Erma Bombeck Home

Erma Bombeck | home

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it’s time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.

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Erma Bombeck graduation

Erma Bombeck | graduation

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

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