Category: Steven Wright

Categories
Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Categories
Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?

Categories
Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of sea shells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.

Categories
Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?

Categories
Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

What’s another word for thesaurus?

Categories
Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.

Categories
Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I’d never even thought about killing myself.

Categories
Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don’t accidentally walk through into another dimension.

Categories
Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Categories
Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Premium black unisex t shirt. Undoubtedly, the biggest news today is nana ama mcbrown joining media general's onua. Deep tissue massage for knee pain.