Category: Steven Wright

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography.

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, ‘Wish you were here.

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

Categories
Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

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