Well, I think that part of being young is not exactly knowing why you do some of the things that you do. And it’s by exploring your life or experimenting or making mistakes and learning from them hopefully that you start to forge an identity.
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When you think back to your first kiss, your hair is perfect and she was wearing a cool outfit. We remember it with restraint and we remember it with style. We remember it as idealistically as you can think.
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I don’t want to be somebody’s crush. If somebody likes me, I want them to like the real me, not what they think I am.
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I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn’t.
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I’m not saying she was lying to me, but she just acted so different before I got to know her, and if she really isn’t like what she was at the beginning, I wish she could have just said so.
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So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.
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I walk around the school hallways and look at the people. I look at the teachers and wonder why they’re here. If they like their jobs. Or us. And I wonder how smart they were when they were fifteen. Not in a mean way. In a curious way. It’s like looking at all the students and wondering who’s had their heart broken that day, and how they are able to cope with having three quizzes and a book report due on top of that. Or wondering who did the heart breaking. And wondering why.
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I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn’t try to sleep with someone even if they could have. I need to know these people exist.
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Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we’re nothing”; – “We accept the love we think we deserve,
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