Category: Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller | thanksgiving

Post author By Beautiful Quotes
Post date December 11, 2022
Categories In Phyllis Diller, thanksgiving
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Phyllis Diller | christmas

Post author By Beautiful Quotes
Post date December 11, 2022
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What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

Phyllis Diller | work

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.

Phyllis Diller | women

The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Phyllis Diller | wedding

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Phyllis Diller | time

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

Phyllis Diller | time

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

Phyllis Diller | teacher

We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

Phyllis Diller | smile

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Phyllis Diller | parenting

Post author By Beautiful Quotes
Post date December 11, 2022
Categories In parenting, Phyllis Diller
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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

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