Phyllis Diller

Phyllis Diller | thanksgiving

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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

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Phyllis Diller | christmas

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What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

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Phyllis Diller | work

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Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle – keep away from children.

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Phyllis Diller | women

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The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

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Phyllis Diller | wedding

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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

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Phyllis Diller | time

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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

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Phyllis Diller | time

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The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.

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Phyllis Diller | teacher

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We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

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Phyllis Diller | smile

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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

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Phyllis Diller | parenting

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Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.

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نیک عورت اگر شادی شدہ ہے تو جنت میں اپنے جنتی شوہر کے ساتھ رہے گی اور شوہر کو ملنے والی حوروں کی سردار ہو گی. Great news : troy is giving away free bottles of secret seduction spray to anyone who qualifies. Top post based on views : a capcut meme about remote work.