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newyears W.C. Fields

W. C. Fields | newyears

I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.

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W.C. Fields Women

W. C. Fields | women

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

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W.C. Fields Women

W. C. Fields | women

Women are like elephants. I like to look at ’em, but I wouldn’t want to own one.

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W.C. Fields Women

W. C. Fields | women

No doubt exists that all women are crazy it’s only a question of degree.

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trust W.C. Fields

W. C. Fields | trust

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

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travel W.C. Fields

W. C. Fields | travel

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

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Time W.C. Fields

W. C. Fields | time

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

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success W.C. Fields

W. C. Fields | success

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.

Categories
smile W.C. Fields

W. C. Fields | smile

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

Categories
politics W.C. Fields

W. C. Fields | politics

Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against.

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