Because of you

Tag: Steven Wrighthumor

Quote from Steven Wright

I’m writing an unauthorized autobiography.

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.

If it’s a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?

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