Tag: Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner Women

Rita Rudner | women

Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

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Rita Rudner Women

Rita Rudner | women

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?

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Rita Rudner Women

Rita Rudner | women

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?

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Rita Rudner Women

Rita Rudner | women

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.

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Rita Rudner war

Rita Rudner | war

A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won’t get a bikini wax.

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Rita Rudner success

Rita Rudner | success

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

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Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner | respect

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be.

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relationship Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner | relationship

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don’t know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I’ll break up with someone on purpose.

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pet Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner | pet

We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet – so we bought a dog. Well, it’s cheaper, and you get more feet.

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pet Rita Rudner

Rita Rudner | pet

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

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