Tag: Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers Work

Joan Rivers | work

I’m Jewish. I don’t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

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Joan Rivers Work

Joan Rivers | work

What are people going to do? Fire me? I’ve been fired before. Not book me? I’ve been out of work before. I don’t care.

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Joan Rivers Wisdom

Joan Rivers | wisdom

Don’t follow any advice, no matter how good, until you feel as deeply in your spirit as you think in your mind that the counsel is wise.

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Joan Rivers war

Joan Rivers | war

She doesn’t understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.

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Joan Rivers Time

Joan Rivers | time

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

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Joan Rivers thankful

Joan Rivers | thankful

Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

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Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers | respect

Don’t tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won’t respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, ‘Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.’.

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Joan Rivers money

Joan Rivers | money

People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.

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Joan Rivers Life

Joan Rivers | life

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was ‘the man goes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.

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history Joan Rivers

Joan Rivers | history

Yeah, I read history. But it doesn’t make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

Available deep tissue massage appointments. Delay becomes a rapper, challenges amerado burner ichris. Conquering chaos : meals prep hacks for the time crunched craving connoisseur.