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christmas George Carlin

George Carlin | christmas

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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George Carlin Work

George Carlin | work

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I’m sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.

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George Carlin Work

George Carlin | work

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it’ll work.

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George Carlin Work

George Carlin | work

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

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George Carlin Work

George Carlin | work

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.

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George Carlin Truth

George Carlin | truth

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.

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George Carlin travel

George Carlin | travel

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

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George Carlin Time

George Carlin | time

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it’ll work.

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George Carlin Time

George Carlin | time

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

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George Carlin Time

George Carlin | time

The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.

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