Because of you

Tag: Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck parenting

Erma Bombeck | parenting

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

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Erma Bombeck morning

Erma Bombeck | morning

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.

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Erma Bombeck Mom

Erma Bombeck | mom

Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.

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Erma Bombeck Mom

Erma Bombeck | mom

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

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Erma Bombeck men

Erma Bombeck | men

What’s with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?

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Erma Bombeck medical

Erma Bombeck | medical

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

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Erma Bombeck medical

Erma Bombeck | medical

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You’re not out of it until the computer says you’re out of it.

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Erma Bombeck marriage

Erma Bombeck | marriage

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

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Erma Bombeck marriage

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it’s time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.