Tag: Emo Philips

Categories
funny

Emo Philips | funny

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

Categories
funny

Emo Philips | funny

I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.

Categories
funny

Emo Philips | funny

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

Categories
forgiveness

Emo Philips | forgiveness

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

Categories
family

Emo Philips | family

Probably the worst time in a person’s life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it’s been a pretty good day.

Categories
computers

Emo Philips | computers

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Categories
alone

Quote from Emo Philips | alone

alone

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