Woody Allen

I think being funny is not anyone’s first choice.

If my films make one more person miserable, I’ll feel I have done my job.

I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

I am not afraid of death, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.