Woody Allen - 🦋 Beautiful Quotes

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Basically my wife was immature. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it’s the government.

I’m such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

To you I’m an atheist to God, I’m the Loyal Opposition.

As the poet said, ‘Only God can make a tree,’ probably because it’s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.