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The Harvard Lampoon

Quote from The Harvard Lampoon, Nightlight: A Parody

About three things I was absolutely certain. First, Edwart was most likely my soul mate, maybe. Second, there was a vampire part of him — which I assumed was wildly out of his control — that wanted me dead. And third, I unconditionally, irrevocably, impenetrably, heterogeneously, gynecologically, and disreputably wished he has kissed me.

Categories
The Harvard Lampoon

Quote from The Harvard Lampoon, Nightlight: A Parody

So, Belle, what’s new today?”Dad,” I said, grasping his hands and looking directly into his eyes. “I’m in the deepest love that has ever occurred in the history of the world.”Gosh, Belle. When someone asks you ‘What’s new?’ the correct answer is ‘Not much’. Besides, isn’t it a little soon to cut yourself off from the rest of your peers, depending on a boyfriend to satisfy your social needs as opposed to making friends? Imagine what would happen if something forced that boy to leave! I’m imagining pages and pages would happen – with nothing but the names of the months on them.

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