Category: Steven Wright

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don’t have film.

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time” so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

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Steven Wright

Quote from Steven Wright

When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

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