Category: Steven Wright

Categories
pet Steven Wright

Steven Wright | pet

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It’s in the apartment somewhere.

Categories
pet Steven Wright

Steven Wright | pet

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.

Categories
morning Steven Wright

Steven Wright | morning

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’

Categories
money Steven Wright

Steven Wright | money

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, ‘What for?’ I said, ‘I’m going to buy some sugar.’

Categories
Life Steven Wright

Steven Wright | life

Babies don’t need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach… it pisses me off! I’ll go over to a little baby and say ‘What are you doing here? You haven’t worked a day in your life!’

Categories
legal Steven Wright

Steven Wright | legal

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

Categories
humor Steven Wright

Steven Wright | humor

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

Categories
Home Steven Wright

Steven Wright | home

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I’m home now. But leave a message and I’ll call when I’m out.

Categories
great Steven Wright

Steven Wright | great

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Categories
good Steven Wright

Steven Wright | good

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’

Cinnamon babe and love ghost have released a new alt metal single, “do you like me now ? ”. Deep tissue massage for plantar fasciitis. American weightlifter mary theisen lappen wins gold medal at 2023 iwf grand prix ii.