Steven Wright | pet
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Steven Wright
Steven Wright | morning
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’
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Steven Wright | money
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, ‘What for?’ I said, ‘I’m going to buy some sugar.’
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Steven Wright | life
Babies don’t need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach… it pisses me off! I’ll go over to a little baby and say ‘What are you doing here? You haven’t worked a day in your life!’
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Steven Wright | home
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I’m home now. But leave a message and I’ll call when I’m out.
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Steven Wright | good
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’
Steven Wright | good Read More »