George Carlin

George Carlin | time

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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.

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George Carlin | religion

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Religion is just mind control.

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George Carlin | pet

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Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

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George Carlin | money

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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

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George Carlin | life

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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.

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George Carlin | good

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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

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George Carlin | good

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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

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George Carlin | future

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There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.

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George Carlin | funny

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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

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George Carlin | funny

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Electricity is really just organized lightning.

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