Demetri Martin

Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away.

I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.

I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.

The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who’s really funny for a cartoonist, obviously.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

If you can’t tell a spoon from a ladle, then you’re fat!

I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that’s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says ‘go outside.’