Calvin Trillin

When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere.

I don’t cook. I don’t know anything about food. I’ve never reviewed a restaurant.

Canadians are very well behaved, they don’t throw their food.

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they’re trying to keep out.

Health food makes me sick.

I never eat in a restaurant that’s over a hundred feet off the ground and won’t stand still.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.